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Hello, housewives and househusbands!
Are you tired of your playlists sounding weak and lifeless? Are the basses flat and the highs dull? Then try the new H-Milch Power Powder – Special Edition 117!
Only H-Milch, with its unique DJ baq Fresh-Enzyme System, guarantees:
Brilliantly white highs that simply dazzle!
Spotlessly deep basses that shake every dance floor!
And a vibrant soundscape that stays fresh longer than any other radio show!
H-Milch 117, washes your ears squeaky-clean!
H-Milch 117, for the perfect sound! Yeah!
Just tune in tonight to the Hirschmilch Radio channel and let Session #117 play. Within minutes, your tired ears will be freed from all sound stains and rhythm fuzz!
Try H-Milch Power Powder #117 with DJ baq!
October 2nd, 8 PM – Prog House Channel
Your guarantee for a freshly pious house-fresh sound!
Hirschmilch Radio. The freshest sound on the airwaves.
Are you tired of just standing at the edge of the pool? Do you feel insecure in the deep waters of sound? Then it’s time for the one and only H-Milch swimming course!
Sign up today for our Session #116 and dive in with your instructor DJ baq!
In this intensive session, you will learn:
Technical breaststroke: Glide effortlessly through the deep beats of our selected tracks.
Crawling in the bass: Experience how to follow the current of hypnotic grooves without going under.
Synchronized underwater dancing: Let the melodies carry you and lose all sense of time and gravity.
We guarantee: After this session, you’ll be ready for the high seas of Progressive House, Melodic, and Deep House. You’ll never just splash aimlessly in the shallow water again!
Class starts tonight, September 11th, promptly at 8:00 PM, exclusively on Hirschmilch Radio.
Just bring your headphones – we’ll provide the necessary buoyancy.
H-Milch Session #116 with DJ baq. Dive in.
Hirschmilch Radio. Stream us.
Wanted Notice: H-Milch Session #113 – Dj Baq on Hirschmilch Radio
[Official Announcement]
Attention, Attention! Wanted: Dj Baq, last seen in the Hirschmilch Radio studio, armed with dangerous controllers, absurd samples, and an insatiable urge to inject the H-Milch aesthetic into your ears.
Time of Incident: This evening – exact time unknown, but likely when it gets dark.
Crime Scene: Hirschmilch Radio – the only station that takes H-Milch as a life form seriously.
Allegation: Planning and execution of the 113th H-Milch Session – another episode of surreal soundscapes, chopped beats, and milky experiments.
Description of the Suspect:
Alias: Dj Baq
Distinctive Features: Uncontrollable enthusiasm for special music, a penchant for absurd humor, and a fondness for anything that smells of "H-Milch culture."
Modus Operandi: Plays unexpected tracks, disrupts listening habits, leaves behind smiles and confusion.
Tips requested at:
"Informants report coded messages via #HMilchLeaks on all social media channels. Evidence (e.g., earworms) please as voice notes."
"Spotted fleeting beats? Write 'It wasn’t me' on a can of condensed milk and throw it through the studio window."
Livestream: This evening on Hirschmilch Radio (maybe 8 PM)
Eyewitness Statements: Anyone missing the session is considered lost until the next episode.
Warning: Dj Baq is considered unpredictable. Those who join the session might end the evening H-Milch-affected. Voluntary listeners urgently needed though!
#Hirschmilch #HMilchSession #DjBaq #ManhuntOngoing
[End of Announcement]
(PS: No actual crime – just an invitation to the finest radio experience of the evening.) 🥛🎧